Why I could help you

Have you ever felt like you were spiraling out of control and just cannot do anything right? I'm Travis and I have been where you are.

Let me tell you a little story about me and why I could help you start to lift yourself out of this rut.

This started in 1995 when I found out the person, I was seeing was pregnant with my son. At that time, I had just graduated school and returned home, I was not ready to have a kid. I put that fear behind me and thought I would do the right thing and ask her to marry me.

In February 1996, we were married, and I thought life would be great, little did I know I was wrong. Two years later, she was checked into the hospital for wanting to hurt herself, and she told me she had been sleeping around with at least 4 other men. At this point I was scared hurt and did not want my son growing up in a broken marriage, so we decided to give marriage counseling a try.

This was 1998 and I had just started my career working in Law Enforcment as a Detention officer, and Life was very rocky during this time, but were still working on our marriage and in 1999 my second child was born a beautiful little girl.

2003, I decided it was time to try and advance my career. I applied to become a police officer for a small-town police department. I was hired and we all moved to the small town, and everything seemed to get much better. I was happy, my marriage seemed better, and my kids were excelling.

one night we were at a local restaurant and my daughter saw an older gentleman sitting by himself eating, so my daughter asked him if he would like to join us.

The older gentleman joined us and we talked about life, then it was almost time for me to start my shift so I told him to have a good night and he said I will probably be seeing you soon and I left without thinking much about the conversation and I went home changed close and and started my shift. It was only a few minutes into my shift when I was sent to check on an elderly person who had just shot himself in the head.

I arrived, entered the bedroom where his body was still moving. I removed the firearm from his hand and checked him, he was now deceased. I did not realize right away but when we turned him over and I saw his face it was the same person I had just eaten dinner with, I started to question myself and wonder why he had just done this, several days later found out he was recently diagnosed with final stage cancer and he wanted to go out on his own terms and not from Cancer. I could understand this and that really helped me move past the questioning myself.

In 2005, I thought my life could not get any better and started a new position as a police officer in my hometown. We moved back and this is where things took a turn for the worst. My wife started hanging around her old friends she was out partying every night we were broke and struggling to put food on the table. I could not trust her again and believed she was cheating again.

I had 4 life threatening incidents, one was where a person ended up with three stab wounds to the abdomen and he died while I was trying giving him first aid, the second was high speed pursuit where the driver crashed into a tree and he and his vehicle caught on fire. He ended up with some severe burns and almost did not make it. The next incident we were going to arrest a person who had just shot several rounds at his neighbor’s house. When I placed the handcuffs on him, he began fighting and it was a long struggle where I ended up hurting myself and felt I had failed my backup officer, and the third was an armed standoff where I ended up face to face with the suspect and he had a firearm pointed directly at me. I was having a tough time dealing with these incidents and having flashbacks from them. I was very upset and just did not know how to deal with what was happening. This was all I thought about and felt like I was completely out of control. I would go to work and get in trouble and felt I could not do anything right; I would go home and did not want to see my wife or kids because I felt like a failure. It was this for several months, finally one day I was told by my supervisor he was concerned about me, and he thought I needed to get some help soon because if I did not I would be looking for a new job.

The next day I called a Counsellor. I arrived for my first appointment and the Counsellor had me do a couple of tests to see what was going on. I completed the tests and scheduled my next appointment. When I came in the Counsellor went over the test with, and diagnosed me with PTSD and Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. We started treatment and after a few months it was like the fog lifted and I felt like my old self. I was happy, laughing and things were not bothering me as badly. We finished my treatment to only having sessions when I needed them.

I needed to replace my holster for my duty weapon, and it came in on April 2, 2010. I replaced the holster and realized I had been sent the wrong one, I always used a security level one holster that just pop open the top strap and your firearm could be removed easily, this new holster was a level 2, with an added safety future which made it a little harder to pull out. Since it was already on my belt, I decided to leave it and went to work Saturday April 3. I was working from 530am to 230pm. I got off work and took my kids to the circus. Then I met my wife to load up the kids easter gifts and we went home. We got home, put the kids to bed and put out the easter gifts for the next morning. The next morning came, and my wife went to work, I got the kids up and went to Easter mass.

After mass I walked out to my vehicle and saw I had a couple missed calls from my wife and called her back. When she answered she told me she was in the hospital and will be checked into the mental health ward. I asked what happened and she told me she had my small handgun and tried to shoot herself but there were no bullets in the firearm. When she did this one of her coworkers saw her and her employer made her go to the hospital.

I told her I would come up and see her, but it would not be until later as were going to a family members house for easter. She said that it was okay and the call ended. I went to see her but really did not stay very long and left. I did not go see her again. On Tuesday I received a call from her nurse asking me if I could come in on Wednesday for a joint counseling session with my wife. I said yes and we scheduled the appointment. I took the time off and entered the room for the session and was told they were releasing my wife on Thursday, but they could not release her to me, I said that was okay and I really did not want her coming home. The nurse then asked me if I wanted to know the reason, she could not come home with me. I said sure and the nurse told me that on Saturday night my wife planned on shooting me, the kids then herself, but she was unable to pull your duty weapon she did not do it.

This was my eye-opening event and I decided it was time to end the marriage and went home and wrote out our divorce papers, where I kept custody of both kids. My wife finally agreed to the divorce and signed her parental rights away from our son and wanted visitation with our daughter.

The divorce was final, and I started my new life. I decided I did not want to have another relationship for a while and kept working on myself. In 2017 I met Laura; she was a new detention officer. I did not know it at the time, but she would become one of the best part of my life. July 4, 2018, we started seeing each other and I could not be happier. We have now been together for 6 years and I could not imagine a day without her.

During my 20 plus years of law enforcement I have overcome many obstacles in my life and would like the opportunity to help you take back your life.